Kids Party Bags
Way before I had picked the dress I had decided I wanted a wild flower posy as my wedding bouquet. But back then I was sure my dress would be some vintage lace number.
But I’m sure I’m not the first bride-to-be be thrown by ANOTHER dress.
So my dress, isn’t lace, and more simple and elegant than vintgae.
But I still want a wild flower bouquet.
It’s just a bit trickier finding one that doesn’t contrast too heavily with THE dress.
Or something with deep Red?
Or the winner so far…
What do you think?
I was holding out for a bigger wedding, you know, I thought we’d probably tie the knot just after we won the Euro Millions. But as the years went by, I started to get a little impatient.
It was only when my sister quoted me a bit of Caitlin Moran that the penny finally dropped…
“Six years and a £19.99 engagement ring later, and it’s our wedding day. It was – initially – going to be in a register office in London, followed by a reception in a pub.
In boring, empty mid-October. Everyone could have got the bus home. It would have cost less than 200 quid. We could have knocked it all off in five hours flat. Oh, I wish we’d had that wedding.”
Caitlin Moran How to Be a Woman.
When I read this, I thought, “yeah, why not just do that?” It’s so simple, so easy, so right, and in the day and age of the Twenty Grand Wedding, quite original!
Caitlin Moran didn’t get married like this. In the end she opted for a monastery, a red velvet dress and ivy in her hair. She herself insists “It was a bad wedding!”
And no wonder she looks back nostalgically on their original wedding plan. It would have been really cool wouldn’t it? Whatever decade.
For a start registry offices in London are usually found in beautiful listed buildings, not like the purpose built council breeze blocks found on the edge of leisure centres or disused libraries that we have up here.
And then there’s the pub. Well it’s London so what kind of pub do you want? You can have your pick… you want one which only serves crisps that are hand made, freshly rock-salted and arrive in a brown paper bag, there you go. You want one with live folk music and real ale served in a dimpled pint mug, then have that. You want tatty velvet sofas and vintage etched mirrors, then they have that too and more! And in any of those quirky, cosy, rustic taverns a bride wearing a subtle wedding dress and a groom in an open shirt and braces wouldn’t look out of place.
Where as here, among the barely dressed spotty teenagers and the barely alive old boozers, you would get less attention walking into the local pub with a sandwich board saying “twat” than you would in a wedding dress.
But I still would have done it. Bought a round of pints and peanuts for the guests and had our first dance to the jukebox (unfortunately it only plays James Arthur nowadays) and demanded a lock in at the end.
But it would have been a bit inappropriate to take the kids. And I really haven’t got the stamina to keep drinking past 11pm these days, so we opted for registry office and family meal – you know “somewhere nice”.
And I don’t regret the decision, in fact I am really looking forward to it. i think it’s going to be pretty good and actually rather cool, in a non-London kind of way.
Plus, if I had one of those big weddings, I know, like Caitlin Moran says, I would have let myself down and probably the whole of humanity down too, you know just by being a bit of a wedding twat…
“Weddings are our fault, ladies. Every aspect of their pantechnicon of awfulness happened on our watch. And you know what? Not only have we let humanity down, but we’ve let ourselves down too.
Weddings do women no good at all. They’re a viper’s pit of waste and despair. And nearly every aspect of them reverberates badly against the very people who love them the most: us. Our love for a wedding is a bad love. It does us no good. It will end badly, leaving us feeling cheated, and alone.
Whenever I think about weddings, I want to run into the church – like Dustin Hoffman in the Graduate – and shout ‘STOP! STOP THE WEDDINGS!“
Caitlin Moran How To Be A Woman
We did a little wedding planning yesterday. I say planning, but what I really mean is taking the OH and show him what he’d paid for! He liked it, so it’s all good!
And if he hadn’t? Well tough, like I said he’s already paid.
But I knew he would, it was just what we wanted and because we are doing it very cheaply there wasn’t really much pressure! Or another option!
But IF it had cost thousands then I would have been shitting myself!
The thought of all that money on one day just scares me! But that’s probably because we don’t have that sort of money and I know if we were to have a big wedding,I wouldn’t be able to help myself waking up the next morning and thinking “that was good, but it could have put the kids through university”
For a long time I thought I did want a big wedding, I mean I like to show off as much as the next person. But having 3 sons, a small house with a big mortgage and only one income, your priorities shift. And I knew in my heart I didn’t want a wedding, I wanted a marriage. The day itself was just a means to an end.
So why get married at all?
The main reason is for the kids. I hate not having the same name as them. It tears me apart that they are all Lloyds and I am a Pringle. And I’m proud of the fact I have been with their dad 10 years, that we in a happy, loving relationship. I am proud of both our parents who have been married for 35 and 40 years and I would like my kids to see and celebrate that level of commitment. And I can’t wait till I can finally call him my husband, not least because at 33 years old I feel a but daft calling a 40 year old man my boyfriend!
But even though it’s small it’s still a wedding. There will still be invitations, favours and the odd speech. I’ll have a bouquet, he’ll have a best man and we’ll be adorning the usual wedding attire. But it just won’t have cost the earth, because instead of inviting all and sundry we are just sharing the day with our immediate family and our best friends, 22 of us in all, including the bride and groom! So yes it’s going to small, but it’s also going to be pretty special! For us anyway, just not for the other 78 people who didn’t make the cut. Is “special” quantified by how many people are there, or by WHO is there? For me it’s the latter, as long as I’m there, he’s there and our sons are there anyone after is a bonus and i suppose we are lucky that we both have great families who are able to come too!