Something stops working when you’re pregnant. Something disconnects. I think it may have always been a faulty wire in my brain, but when I’m pregnant there is no doubt it is fully disconnected. It’s the last step of thinking, the final thought; it’s missing. This is often referred to as ‘Preganancy Brain’. It’s when you walk into a room and forget completely why you went in there, you stand looking vacantly for clues, until you leave the room defeated. It’s like that – all the time! But it appears there are no medical answers to this condition. But it is one. Oh yes it is definitely one. I have the proof.
Unfortunately, my pregnant brain has stayed with me post pregnancy, and had permanently hindered my memory, consequently I am struggling to recount all the wonderful pregnancy brain stories I have been told.
Fortunately with Facebook and Twitter at your fingertips (literally) who needs a memory – I can just pinch other people’s stories – here’s the best of them (including some of my own):
- “I cried a lot, especially about the dog”. I love how she left this open. I immediately conjured images of a heavily pregnant woman turning to her other half, sobbing, “The dog needs a walk”, he looks bemused “Why are you crying?”. Still sobbing “because he’s just so demanding”. Or later, on said walk, picking up poo, sobbing through breathless tears “Could you not have done it in the long grass, when no one was looking?”
- “Had a shower at 8 months. Applied shower gel to my ‘flannel’ – starting washing and then realised I had brought my piece of toast into the shower.” This is my personal favourite and always stays with me when i need an emergency chuckle
- “After two consecutive days of forgetting my purse, then on a evening discovering at supermarket checkout I had purse but it was devoid of cash and cards, my exasperated other half insisted on doing a check of my bag contents before we descended to the car (house is on 1st and 2nd floor). We stood at the top of the stairs doing this: “Mobile? Check. “Purse? Check. Diary? Check.” Satisfied, we descended, as as I followed him out the front door, I paused on the outside step. “What?” he said “What can you have possibly forgotten?” he demanded, whilst turning to see me looking down at my feet… My uncovered, bare feet. “Shoes? For Fuck’s sake!” Exactly. For Fuck’s Sake.
- “I got some money exchanged at the travel agents. She was lovely. I explained it was a wedding gift, I told her about the wedding, how I should have been bridesmaid but I was pregnant, we talked about the baby, my pregnancy and my woes and at the end, I took the money, she said ” Have a lovely time” and I said ” I love you.”. I think I meant thank you. I hope I did.”
- “My colleague found out she was pregnant after she had just taken over a new desk at work, where the previous occupants were all on maternity leave, she announced, to a full meeting, “I’m pregnant… Must be something I sat on.” Apparently she’s never lived it down, only fair really, when you give colleagues that much ammunition.
- “I left the house, two children scampering full speed down the street, and thought ‘these flip flops have stretched’, looked down and I was wearing my boyfriend’s size 10 Adidas pair, instead of my size 6 Reeboks. I then had to run after two small children, like Steven Tomkinson wearing clown shoes in ‘Brassed off’.
- “When we couldn’t find things -car keys, wallets, diaries etc – we usually found them in the fridge.”
- “When teaching I would continually miss the last letter of words off, when writing on the whiteboard e.g. ‘Rome and Julie is the mos romantic love story of our tim’ The kids loved it.”
- “Half way through a lesson, I realised my top was on inside out. I had to go in the cupboard to change it. The pupils hadn’t noticed – a testament to how much attention they were paying me.”
- “By the end of the pregnancy I was carrying around underwear, deodorant and a tooth brush in my handbag, as I’d regularly discover these were things I’d forgotten to do.” Underwear? Brilliant!
- “I was on the phone to the tax office and they asked my current employer. I couldn’t answer them. I had no idea. I had to hang up and ring back later.”
If this is not proof enough, then I would suggest typing in #pregnancybrain on Twitter – some great examples on there too!
Some people say it never leaves, but I think that’s just called “tiredness”, especially when looking after a baby, toddler… husband. I did leave the house in my slippers, when pushing my week old first born round the block, only noticed when stood talking to a neighbour and then had a very awkward 5 minutes where I wondered if they had noticed too.
Please share any of your own, I love hearing them!