Beauty Products

Here are my top 5 beauty products for Mums… Or any women who are in a rush, can’t be arsed, rarely have a minute to themselves and can’t afford plastic surgery.


In no particular order…


No other concealer like this one.

1. Touche Eclat

I know every one wants to bonk Touch eclat – but it really is THAT good. It’s one of those things you don’t realise how goiod it is till you stop wearing it – and then every other bugger tells you how tired you look. And it can be worn with nothing else, just smidge a bit on, look less tired and off you go.



Won’t turn you orange

2. Dove moisturising false tan

Because we just don’t have time to do the whole exfoliate, moisturise prep bollocks. And if  we did have time for that, would we have time to evenly spread/spray and rub our legs for about two hours and then lie there motionless for another two hours?


If you use Dove like a moisturiser (and by that I mean rub a small amount on each day, not slab it on in a panic an hour before your’re due to leave the house) then it works – and doesn’t streak and takes barely no time at all! You just have to rememeber to do it each morning/night – I know a toughy – but try putting a post it note on your mirror or forehead – worked for me!



3. L’Oreal BB

I know the advert is a bit like “whatevs Lady – you look like that anyway bitch” but it is quite good, not too heavy and gives you that kind of glow that sleep used to give you! Sleep – rememberr that? It was good huh? Well this isn’t that good, but it does make you look like you’ve had some.


4. Max Factor Masterpiece Mascara

I’m a bit obsessed with Mascara – I have to try them all. And lose them all. So I’m  obssessed with losing Mascaras. It’s an costly obsession, but we’re working on it. Anyhow, I always come back to this one. Works for days, evenings…  middle of the night feeds. It’s an all rounder.


5. Bastiste Dry Shampoo

Makes it look all volumised too!

Because there are days when you wake up, look in the mirror and realise your hair is stuck to your face with grease. And these are always the mornings when you got up late, have to leave early, have your kids homework to do and the school uniform to wash. It’s just the law of the sod. But if you have a can of this handy (look they even do Team GB ones!) then you spray it on and you are transformed. Now there is a technique to gettting just the right amount to avoid that talc-in-hair look, or static-wig effect. But when you have mastered it, it will change your life forever.

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